My personal essay

To be honest, I'm kinda already worried that this personal essay is going to kick my ass. Right now, I can't think of a concept. I can't even think of a potential concept. I can't even begin to think of a potential concept!

But I think Schwartz' method is best. I'd love to use Orwell's, but I'm not even half the writer that he was, and I'm not nearly as smart to bring whatever issue I'm talking about to the forefront. So I think I'll go with Schwartz, and do a story-telling essay.

But a story about what? It's not like I have a ton of personal experience to draw from.

Actually, I think I do have something. But it's so close to me... hardly the type of thing that I think I can just put out there. I can't write if I'm too concerned about who will read what I've written... what I think I've got bubbling up inside me could hurt a few *still living* people.

I'm so confused/intimidated/unwilling right now. I can't move until I think about this, because I don't even want to face what I have to write about.

This is a pathetic excuse for a blog! But I need time to think, and recover. Sorry, everyone.

"Alive" and "Westbury Place"

First and foremost, I've got to admit that "Alive" had me on the edge of my seat through its duration. "Alive" was brief, but extremely introspective and thought provoking. There's some of those "truth seeking" elements here, too.

I really like the fact that the author is an ex-police officer.  This person obviously has some unique experience to draw from, and as a writer I sometimes feel that that's something I don't have enough of.  To write, you need to have gone through something, right? I feel like there's something there which I could dig up, but it can't be forced, right?

Maybe that's why there's so many crappy fantasy writers. No real world experience? Good writing skills? No worries, there's a spot for you next to R.A. Salvatore and Kevin J. Anderson! And, if made up worlds aren't enough and you want to pretend your fantasy land is real after all, you could always just start blogging from a marxist/libertarian perspective.

Anyway, the author of this story used real world experience and introspective reflection to come to an understanding- albeit a jaded, paranoid one- about life in general. Experiences do shape our understandings, and that was the point of both "Alive" and "Westbury," though who knows if the respective authors would agree.

That's pretty much the goal of Creative Nonfiction- to discover how one's experiences have led them to a certain understanding- is it not?

On a side note, I can't believe how quickly my idea of what's creative nonfiction is changing. I look back at my first post with a little bit of embarassment now.

Schrawtz

First off, let me comment on what a pretentious rant my last post was! Sometimes, I truly do wonder what I'm thinking when I write these things. Then again, the point of "blogging" is not to come up with a clearly thought-out, consistent essay, but a clearly articulated "blurb" or some other kind of representation of thought.

Anyway, aside from the Orwell piece, the Schrawtz essay was my favorite thus far. The essay, more like a novel or a memoir, is set-up like a movie, with different chunks representing different progressing scenes, or progression's in the author's maturity. I found it odd that Schrawtz calls her father a "hick" early on- clearly he's not, but that maturity comes later on when she's visited Rindhiem with her family.

As for me, I barely noticed the blocks of text. Before I even realized that they were there, I knew as I was reading the essay that certain parts had their own significance, like the author's considering her father a "hick" or the transformed father playing golf and saying things like "you're lucky to be here."

But, as I'm made to think about it, the blocks represent episodes. Things that say, "although this is all related, this part in important for special consideration as it has it's makes it's own special contribution to the rest of the work."

P.S. ASchwartz' essay and other's like them don't represent self-absorbed stuff I mentioned in my previous post, in my opinion. I liked it quite a bit. She and her father were the focus, but it had overarching themes about immigration, nostalgia, personal maturity, and national pride. I think that's what creative nonfiction should always have, even if it's autobiographical.

Montaigne, Orwell, and the "contemporary voice"

The essay seems to be progressing towards a greater focus on the individual. While both Montaigne and Orwell introspectively reflect on some greater social issue, I find that many contemporary essays are about the author, and sometimes only about the author, without any element of other commentary. I think I can best illustrate this by using an author, David Sedaris, as an example.

I remember a friend of mine, Angel, introducing me to a supposed body of "essays" by Sedaris, Naked. I soon learned, however, that "Naked" was merely a collection of unrelated, and probably exaggerated, personal memoirs. Some of the stories had a point, while others didn't.

I remember thinking to myself after reading Naked, "Well, isn't that petty?"  Why is it that seemingly everything written since The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test is bogged down in a masturbatory kind of personal obsession? Don't get me wrong- I really liked Naked. Sedaris presents himself as intelligent, worldly, and charming. But I also felt strongly that the book was an otherwise pointless exercise.

It's petty, and it's because of this petty self-obsession that nationally our arts and humanities are stereotypically considered petty subjects by plenty of people (Come on, English majors! Don't act like you don't get weird looks when people ask why you major in what you do! Why do you think the university and universities everywhere now only offer humanity programs as coupled with degrees in "Education"? Academic-Industrial Complex, anyone?)

The arts have become equally as self-obsessed. That a world-wide economic crisis hasn't prompted some people to re-evaluate just why and how-the-hell their tax dollars have wound up supporting museums (which would never stand on their own in the market) full scrbbles, blank canvases and "art" like piss christ is simply baffling. At least self absorbed shit like 808s & Heartbreak comes from and is supported by people who pay to play, rather than a collective gov't effort impossible to opt out of.

Orwell had a point, as did Montaigne, and it pisses me off when I realize that writing simply isn't an occupation people with points consider viable. People like Orwell in our society don't even consider writing a book or starting a blog, because the market and the blogs are already full of masturbatory porn- people obsessed with having themselves and their personality be the focus have already taken over the news, music, academia, creative writing, and who knows what next. Why would someone with good ideas even go there?

Now, Orwell, there's an author worth emulating!

That's not to say that an author can ever be disconnected with his or her work. What you write is always about you, to a point- but it shouldn't be all about you. My post here isn't about me- it's about a lot more than that- but when you read it it should be apparent that it's written by a pessimistic person concerned with the relevancy of his probable future profession.

There's an important distinction with you showing through your writing- like Orwell- and your writing existed merely as means for you to show people who cute or clever or trendy or intellectual you are.  Somewhere in the 60s and the birth of Gonzo journalism, that distinction started disappearing, and now it's all but erased.

I realize this is kind of an unfocused (and maybe unfair) rant... but isn't that what blogs are for?

Kincaid and Lott

Lott's definition of creative nonfiction, a process designed for people to understand, seems fair enough. Though I wasn't a fan of Lott's endless bravado, Kincaid seems to do a good job at presenting Lott's philosophy. In Biography of a Dress Kincaid describes an entire world around one old photograph, and likely comes to an understanding of it that couldn't be acquired from a quick glance.

In my last post I said that creative nonfiction is humanizing.  But after reading the two essays, I'd also like to say that it's also about discovery. Creative nonfiction doesn't only humanize factual information. Sometimes, it is just as much, if not more, an exploratory truth-seeking process.

Creative Nonfiction...

...can mean a lot of different things. There's people like Kean's Professor Connor who write books about historical figures. That's Creative Nonfiction. There's people like myself who write features for our newspaper, The Tower, and that's Creative Nonfiction too. There's blogs like this, and people who write journals. The underlying similarity is that all these things contain information which is supposed to be mostly true and supposed to be entertaining. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem like a very good definition.

Creative Nonfiction isn't as much of a genre as it is a process- a particularly humanizing one at that. Encyclopedias & budget reports & policy manuals are full of nonfictional information, but they don't contain information that's interesting to people. They're cold and systematic- the types of things few people are willing to read and even fewer find themselves enjoying.

The human concern, however, is the most important aspect of any writing endeavor. Creative Nonfiction, as I would like to define it, is a truth-telling process that presents factual information as it is relevant and sympathetic to human concerns. It's a presentation of the "real" world, sympathetic to the real concerns of the people who really go through it.

This is my blog for creative nonfiction...

...I'll be covering a number of topics this semester, it seems. A quick glance at the course calender reveals discussions on "what is creative nonfiction?" "working between story and reflection," "essays about place, objects, and processes," and finally, "becoming a writer."

This all sounds very fun and exciting! I can't wait to get started.